Honest Betrayal
by I.W.P-chan
Summary: In which Akechi Goro is honest about his schemes and crimes, but somehow, no one sees him coming.


Summary: In which Akechi Goro is honest about his schemes and crimes, but somehow, no one sees him coming.

 _Note: I fully blame shuake hell discord server peeps for being enablers and an inspiration._

 _There was a discussion about how obvious Akechi was as the traitor, and seidecim said "It's like "HI I'm A HANDSOME TRAITOR"" and I was inspired. Of course I was inspired._

 _Then things degenerated from there, helped along by gi-de-off, EndovaElixabete/cremenebula, and nyamm-nyam, credit goes to them for inspiring specific parts of this fic ^^_

 _For_ _ **seidecim**_ _,_ _ **gi-de-off**_ _,_ _ **EndovaElixabete/cremenebula**_ _, and_ _ **nyamm-nyam**_ _, the enablers and the reason this fic even exists._

 **Warnings: Akechi Redefines The Term Mindfuck, Don't Take This Seriously, You Are Definitely Going To Want To Kill Me After You Finish (When Aren't You Ever?), Crack (Of Epic Proportions), Akechi Has The World Wrapped Around His Little Finger See What He Does With It, The Narration Does Its Absolute Best Not To Call Shido By His Actual Name, Sojiro Is The Only Sane Guy In The Whole World.**

 **Disclaimer:** Don't own P5.

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The life of one Kurusu Akira had been a whirlwind since he was framed for assault.

Moving to Tokyo? Fine. Finding himself in some sort of alternate plane of existence that was basically the unconscious of humanity? Manageable. Being the leader of a ragtag group of teens and a cat calling themselves the Phantom Thieves of Hearts? Just give him a sec.

Meeting a cute guy who heard your talking cat when only those who'd been to the Metaverse can, and hearing the same cute guy deduce that your group was the Phantom Thieves and declare that he was going to one day infiltrate their group and kill them all in the same breath?

"Man, what a weird guy," Ryuji muttered, and Akira partially agreed with him.

"But he heard Morgana and figured us out!" Ann pointed out, wide-eyed in shock and anxiety.

"He also told us that he was going to infiltrate us and kills us all." Morgana deadpanned, "No decent spy or traitor would be upfront about it. He's clearly off his rocker."

The group as a whole refrained from pointing out that it was a talking cat accusing another person of being insane and what it meant for their state of sanity. It was a close thing with Ryuji though.

.

The Thieves would have brushed it off; except it turned out that the same guy was a recognized, genius, if a bit eccentric, high school detective.

Which initiated a mad scramble to Research this teen detective, one Akechi Goro, to figure out more about him.

Their search led them to watching interviews about his success in solving the mental shutdown cases.

" _Oh, but what is your secret, Akechi-kun?" The talk show host who was interviewing Akechi wondered._

 _Akechi chuckled, "It's almost like I'm the one who committed them to further the machinations of my father's-" Akechi paused to look at the smudges on his hand, "-Shodi's conspiracy to become the next prime minister."_

 _The talk show host laughed along with the audience, "You have such a unique sense of humor!"_

" _Thank you." Akechi nodded earnestly, "I get it from walking through the collective unconscious of humanity."_

" _That must be quite the walk."_

" _There are trains and rest areas, so I manage. Well, as long as the Reaper doesn't shoot me dead." Akechi smiled widely._

The Thieves looked at each other in incredulity while Ryuji made a face, "He's crazy."

.

While part of the Thieves wanted to run around like headless chickens as they tried to figure out how to do damage control for Akechi spilling secrets about the Metaverse left and right, the detective had been doing so for months and months before, so they were long past the deadline to fix things, and there was nothing they could do at this point.

Thankfully, no one seemed to take Akechi's words seriously, passing it off as some eccentricity or quirk in his personality due to his genius, like it was his own unique way of seeing the world.

Now, if only Akechi would stop talking about how he was going to infiltrate them and betray them only to kill them afterwards, each and every time he'd see them.

(They learned to tune it out after the third time Akechi stalked Akira to meet up with him at the station.)

.

"You're letting me join you?" Niijima Makoto was incredulous, and rightly so; she didn't spend so much time trailing Kurusu and his group while taking notes about their habits and the things they did, while also keeping up with her studies and duties, only to be easily let into the Thieves' group, "I'm threatening you! Blackmailing you, even! You should look for a way to get rid of me, not pacify me and listen to my demands so easily!"

Akira shrugged alongside with Ryuji, and Yusuke sighed, "The high school detective Akechi already knows about us."

" _What?_ " Makoto whispered in shock, "And he hasn't turned you in? Or at least interrogated you about your methods?"

Ann's shoulders slumped, "He says he's going to infiltrate us only to betray us and kill us all eventually, so why bother?"

If Makoto thought she was shocked before, it was nothing on how stunned she was now.

" _He said what?!_ "

"Eh, you learn to ignore it."

.

Akechi eventually found his way to Leblanc.

"I'm plotting your murder," Akechi said, a thoughtful frown on his face.

Akira leaned forward across the counter, "Kinky. How do you plan to kill me, honey?"

Akechi reached a finger and pressed its tip against Akira's forehead before he smiled pleasantly, "How about a bullet between your eyes?"

Sojiro side-eyed them; was this some new trend kids these days were into? He better keep Futaba away from them.

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"How did you like my masterful plot?" Akechi stared imploringly from his seat at Leblanc's counter at Akira who just entered the café.

"Your masterful plot?" Akira asked, pouting because Akechi interrupted his 'honey, I'm home' greeting, "What masterful plot?"

"I was talking about Medjed."

"Yeah, you told me you'd sick them on us." Akira almost shook his head fondly; Akechi's honest statements of backstabbing were adorable sometimes, especially when he had this childishly excited gleam in his eyes while he talked about his schemes.

"And now that I did, we made you into heroes." Akechi's smile widened, "You know what's next? Framing you for murder."

"Oh?" Akira asked distractedly, his mind wandering to the team's supplies and what needed restocking, "You do that, honey."

"Don't worry, you'll hate it."

Sojiro, the only sane person in the whole world, was gaping at them. No matter how many times they'd banter back and forth like this in front of him, he'd never get used to it.

The TV screen cut to a speech from a bald politician wearing tinted glasses. He looked eerily familiar.

"That's my father, Shakira," Akechi informed him.

"Oh?" Akira turned to Akechi with a shit-eating grin, "Shake those hips for me, honey."

Akechi sent him a smile that showed too many teeth, "Hips are your things, darling. Shoulders are mine. Do you want me to ram you in the gut with them?"

"Please, by all means." Akira's voice dropped into a seductive purr.

Sojiro slammed a hand down on the counter, "Not in my café!"

"Another time then." Akechi nodded, "I'll be sure to bring a butter knife to stab you with, too. I'll be leaving now. Oh, and before I forget, get ready because I'm going to Shujin's Culture Festival, where I'm going to blackmail you into letting me join."

"Oh?" Akira cocked his head to the side, "That's all?"

"Yes. Now, excuse me."

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"So," Makoto started, staring intently at Akechi who was standing at the podium, "Can you tell us the identities of the Phantom Thieves, then?"

"Of course!" Akechi's smile stretched, "My boyfriend is their leader. I'm going to blackmail him into joining soon. By which I mean today."

Makoto's smile strained around the edges. Boyfriend? First time she heard of this.

(She could almost hear Akira in the overhead walkway throwing his arms in the air and almost shouting, "He finally admitted it!")

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"Your outfit changes into a princely outfit?" Panther looked dubious.

Crow nodded, "Well, certainly this is not my only Metaverse outfit. What kind of person would I be if I called myself a traitor without having a second, suitable outfit to reflect that?"

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Akira regretted only few things in his life; not returning the DVDs he rented, not watering his plant in the last week, not going out for crepes with Akechi.

Not taking Akechi seriously on his constant betrayal statements.

Which led him to his current predicament, beaten, drugged, and with Akechi pointing a gun at his forehead.

If he was going down, well…

"You know, this isn't the 'gun' I wanted to be on the business end of, honey."

Akechi grinned wildly.

That night, a bullet left Akechi's gun, unheard due to the silencer attached to the gun.

That was the night Kurusu Akira disappeared.

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Akechi Goro and his eccentric habits didn't just frustrate _only_ the Phantom Thieves. Akechi's… benefactor had to deal with them as well.

Akechi dramatically flung open the door to Shawn's office while calling out, "Father! I have returned!"

Odish almost flipped his desk over, "How many times have I told you not to call me that?"

"But father!" Akechi protested, "I bring you happy news. The leader of the Phathom Thieves is dead!"

Disho pressed his lips into a thin line, "And the rest?"

"A body bag." Akechi grinned, "Well, bags. But who cares for the count?"

Shrub leaned back in his seat, "Alright. Dismissed."

.

"You're an asshole!" Skull snarled as he stomped towards the safe room, Akechi following close behind him, "I can't believe you kidnapped all of us to Shi-"

"Dishwasher," Akechi interrupted him to correct him.

"-Dishwasher's Palace! What, you have a master plan you didn't spoil to anyone?" Skull snarked as he opened the door to the safe room. Panther was the first to respond to what he said.

"Hey!" Panther shouted at him, "Don't call him a dishwasher! That's an insult to dishwashers everywhere!"

.

Akechi straightened his tie as he headed to his father's office for what would be the last time.

"Father," He announced as he opened the door, his expression grave.

Shader looked furious, "How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that?!"

Akechi ignored what he said, "Father, I have an important announcement to make."

"And what, pray tell, is that announcement?"

"The Phantom Thieves. They're alive! Father!" Akechi's facial expression twisted into something deranged and smug, "I've been fucking their leader inside your Palace for the last two weeks." With that said, Akechi turned around and bolted out of the office, pulling out his phone and activating the Nav; it was time to drive Brisket's Shadow insane.

.

Two days later, it was announced that Shisho suffered a breakdown and had to be confined to a psychiatric ward.

No one took Akechi seriously when he stated that he was the one responsible for Dodo's breakdown.

(But Akechi was definitely banned from Leblanc for the foreseeable future- Sojiro didn't take kindly to hearing about Akechi having sex with Akira.)

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End

You'll never see it com- *shot*


End file.
